Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’ will for
your in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians
5:18
My due date is coming up very soon for the child we lost in
December. If you have ever lost a baby
due to miscarriage you know how difficult that date is, especially the first
time you face it, so I’m planning to write more about that. This is our second miscarriage (that we know
for sure of, I've decided to bury my head in the sand and not acknowledge the "maybe" we had before the last actual one) so I think I know what to expect and I hope it will be
easier. I also realize I don’t write
nearly enough about what I’m thankful for or the things in our lives that bring
us joy, so before I write on the sad, let me write on the glad (or just a few
of them)….
My husband. He helps
me when he is home, he cooks, he will do just about anything I ask! I have been so blessed to have him in my
life! Before him I was a broken
individual. I had a huge hole in the
middle of me…And he helped to make me complete.
God used a horrible, horrible situation to allow Caleb to meet his
future wife, and boy was she a hard one to land. She had sworn off marriage, and men, for that
matter. J But he convinced her, with the help of God,
that marriage is a good thing. God took
two broken people, joined them together through some tough circumstances and
made them whole. It’s like he took the
two broken pieces (me and him) and pieced them together so they fit
perfectly. He made us one, he made us
whole.
My child. It’s no
secret I want more children, and I know I focus on that and our loss so much
publicly. I have been given a burden
that also allows me to share and reach out to others who are hurting. I have been given the courage to do things I
never would have been able to do if I haven’t gone through those
miscarriages. I do want everyone to
know, however, how proud I am and how blessed I know I am to have our son. He is such a wonder! I laugh constantly! There is never a dull moment in our
house. I love looking into his eyes and
seeing his in-tamable joy and his unfailing love for me, no matter how I have failed as a Mom, whatever I did or didn't do. He is the perfect blend of Caleb and me,
although, I think he got Caleb’s temper (minus the red hair, lol). I’m such a lucky gal to not only have him but
to be able to stay here with him every day.
(sorry, too many for photos) :)
My family. I’m lucky
to have folks related to me, in-laws, out-laws, and the like, who put up with
me when I don’t deserve to be put up with.
I love spending time with you, but due to me working a lot or some of
you living so far away I know it makes life hard.
My job. I announced
in my last post that I was going to go to working for HD full-time. So, how is that working out? HA! I
have never been more stressed, more frazzled, more drained (not even when Josh
had colic), more busy….or more ELATED in my life. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done,
running a business and a household, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. When I tell people I work from home the most
common response is “You’re so lucky”, and I realize I’m living the dream of a lot
of people and am so thankful for being able to make my dreams a reality, but
the truth is with that dream-come-true comes several 18+ hour days…and that’s
only for the business!! My house is a
disaster, my laundry is never done, the lawn always needs to be mowed, there
are constantly dishes piled up in the sink, and I’m afraid to walk across the
floor without shoes on sometimes! But, I
love to create, I first found that out when I was the editor of my high school
year book, and I suppressed that until I got older (there was no money in it,
haha), and I’m so glad our customers have brought that “streak” out in me
again!! There is nothing better than
taking a picture of a piece you just finished, sending it to a customer and
having them respond with some of the awesome responses they have, that more
than makes up for the smelly trash that should have been taken out two days ago. :)
My personal favorite is this picture. A gentleman, who is very near and dear to my
heart, has just opened up a gift which happened to be one of our signs and
there are tears in his eyes. The sign
was not at all my idea, actually, his beautiful daughter came up with it, we
just put it on wood for them, and I LOVE that we were able to be a part of
that!! I don’t have a picture, but I
also remember a Mother’s Day gift from a husband to his wife, when we delivered
the piece to him he said, “Oh yeah, there’s going to be tears.” How blessed are we that we are included in
weddings, special anniversaries, and births…Oh how wonderful that we get to
help celebrate new life! It’s also been
amazing to watch Josh grow up these last several months. I get to be there for all the things I was
missing before. I missed his first
steps, and his first words were said to a day care worker, who was really
sweet, but I know hearing it would have meant so much more to me. We were looking at having to enroll him in
speech therapy before we left Oklahoma City because he was so far behind, but
at his evaluation a few months ago they told me that he was above the expected
speech level for his age!! Thank you,
THANK YOU so much for letting me be there for my little boy.
