And a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted:
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew: a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate: a time of war, and a time of peace.
What profit has he that works in that wherein he labors? I have seen the travail, which God has given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
He has made everything beautiful in His time: also He has set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God makes from the beginning to the end.
I cannot possibly find a more fitting explanation of our lives over the past 6 months than Ecclesiastes 3. Caleb and I have gone to the top of the mountain then travelled to the depths of the valley and back up the mountain again, truly a time to lose, a time to heal, a purpose for everything.
As many of you probably already know Caleb and I were expecting a new addition to our family in late January. We were elated. I had a minor procedure and three days later found out I was pregnant. Of our desires in life a house full of children is one of them, so we were elated. We spent several weeks basking in the glow of pregnancy, teaching our son to say “brother”, dreaming of what this child could become, praying for a healthy happy baby, watching the excitement fill our parents’ faces as we told them (or my little sister told my Dad and step mom) we were expecting another Blessing from God. I pondered and pondered on the verse which I had recently put on a sign I made “From the fullness of His grace we have received one blessing after another. John 1:16” Needless to say our hearts were saddened when I started having “issues”, issues similar to what I had when I was expecting our son, but, unfortunately, they continued and we lost the baby we so desperately longed for. The day we found out my doctor told me to go home and look in the eyes of my son and to go outside and look at all the goodness that surrounds me. I followed doctor’s orders. Caleb and I went home, got Joshua from daycare and just basked in that baby’s wonderful, positive…blessed glow. Joshua is two years old now.
Learning to cope, and finding hope
Over the past two years I have followed a family, The Mutz’s, who lost Molly, their daughter, when she was only seven days old. I listened to their radio program, followed Rebecca’s blog and saw updates from their Face Book posts. I cried when I heard them cry, I was purely devastated for them. My heart ached for them. I found out they were expecting again, and twins this time! What a blessing! One verse came to mind and I knew I had to make them a sign, so I did. I will have to say that I held on to it selfishly and it has helped me realize that there is a time and a purpose for everything.
A friend that Caleb and I used to go to church with ordered a sign “Children are a treasure from the Lord.” I love this, and I love the verse it originates from, which is also the verse after which we named our business, Heritage Designs, “Children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward.” I absolutely loved working on this sign. What a promise it sends to me!
This Sunday will mark my due date for that precious child we lost. People miscarry all the time and I still deal with the guilt of being devastated over losing this baby. I feel guilty that other people have suffered much more than me. Who am I to say I have pain? I realize a little more each day that pain is pain, and no matter what others have experienced I still have the right to have pain…To grieve. I have been thinking of a way to commemorate this child’s life but have yet to find a way that would give justice to this baby, nothing I can think of is good enough...
I’m sure most of you know that Caleb received a promotion and we moved to the Oklahoma City area in September. Another reason I shut down the business. I am so proud of him. He has taken on his new task with a “bull by the horns” mentality and is doing a great job. We miss Arkansas terribly, but have been blessed in abundance with new friends (and renewal of some old friendships). It was an opportunity for us to freely rely on God and we were in awe of the amazing things we saw Him do during our relocation.
Truly God makes everything beautiful in His time. Thank you for the time off, and we are looking forward to serving you and helping you put wonderful ideas on your wall! Things will be changing around here so please bear with us!
Trista Hill
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